In my next life maybe i want to be a man :)

...Sorry,i'm not a sexist.
i'm not a male-chauvinist either. I'm proud to be what i am.I am a woman. I feel great fighting the world on my own,as a woman. And i'm also proud that i'm not like the rest of my homogeneous mixture of female kith and kin.Homogeneous because they are all alike- same mind,same life,same living : the older generation and the younger both. I belong to the latter but i have never belonged to their specimen. Honest.

                  But [always but but but,i wonder what i'd do if there was no ''but''],  from the beginning I've been a little bit unhappy with the race of my sex. I refer to those unhappy mementos as a ''complete waste of time''. For example [ although ''for example'' isn't a proof,they say. But how else can i show it ?]  :But here are those proofs....

                When i was a junior  high school student,most of the girls came to school with a ''doll'' like images; their hair neatly tied up with a pair of cute ribbons perfectly the ''cute  barbie''.Well,a part of me  wanted to be like them,like a ''cute''barbie.Although to my granny i was already her ''cute'' princess, to the outer world ,in my school,i wasn't. Not in one million years. I was just one of those funny but forlorn characters from Walt Disney's cartoons. Fat and plump,ribbons all messed-up;and i wore a pair of big spectacles. Einstein's grand-grand-daughter ,i 'd call myself as a tribute to my love for science. While ''they'' wasted time in  making their ribbons more like ribbons, i saved my time by sneaking into library  [even when it wasn't time for library hours; I could be an FBI on a mission HA.HA.]  and grab a book or two - almost always astronomy. Ribbons were never my priority. Astronomy books were....The sun,The moon,The stars.......The solar system.................................................

                  
        Enter Senior high school period. I changed a little bit. No,i don't mean i was metamorphosed into a beautiful 34-24-34 curved feminine creature. I was still the same science-lover with a chest as flat as a wall. Rather, i became a rebellious head from a shy one and unlike my girly girls who were ''obedient'' i was a ''rule breaker''. While my fellow mates practically began showing their first sign and symptoms of womanhood , i wasn't a bit bothered by that biological fever. Happy enough with the flat chest , i was too busy to note that others were busy upgrading their  image.Like we upgrade our personal computers. Wasting time ''curling'' ''straightening'' '' perming'' hairs,so that they could be hunted down by the most eligible-sexy-cute lover-boy,while their school-assignment urgently needed an  emergency '' CPR''.Cardiopulmonary resuscitation. Jesus.
                The flaws ,the vanity that i saw in the female races continued and will continue. After graduation from school and college, i had more time to study my female relatives too. Marriage,gossip. Tamper tantrum over hubby-and- kid stuffs. Their gossip blasted more  dangerously than an atom bomb did in my ears,and they valued their gossip as much as i valued the breaking-news of CNN and BBC [ my dad always made me watch those channels ,it was far better than my mom's wanting me to go shopping with her]. 
                I'm not saying that i'm superior to all the females. I don't mean to say either that, i have zero flaws. If you list my flaws in a paper, the entire global timber industry will be wiped off.
              And oh,yes i do also want to be beautiful,i'm a human after all. A greedy human. But, there's a difference in that greed. I want to be beautiful not because i shall be a stock or a commercial- commodity of the highest bidding in the market. But because i just want to test the taste of beauty. In that, i find flaws too. Being beautiful isn't that easy task. In the  modern world, you have to run after Maxfactor,Lo'real, Revlon etc's masscara,foundation,eye liner ,glitters,lipstick... in order to be that damn ''beautiful'' girl.  What a mammoth of a mission. It'd be easier to shave your beard, put on a suit and boot and a necktie . 
          So, in my next life, if my incarnation wishes anything then that will be - to be born as a man and i'll be talking about football,cricket....instead of Maxfactor and Revlon.HA...HA...
                     [ i doubt if i'll be a human ].              

The Enemy of All : Stomach...err..tummy..err belly.....

          Ever given a second thought about  your  stomach as an enemy of the entire state??????
          Yes/No/WTF?....what do you think?or does your inseparable-partner think? Not spouse, i mean, your brain...( because its inseparable from you).

          .......................
          First,
       Let me ask you-which one would you call ''the highest-ranking '' social animal of these following?
- Doctor
- Engineer 
-Scientist
- politician 
-Top government official
- businessmen/women
- police
-pilot and etc; etc; 
                          
          Second,
           Why don't Asian parents [ or maybe westerners also,i'm not sure]  think beyond these damnable professions? for their forced-to-be-faithful-for-life-like-a-dog sons and daughters.
-- Doctor
- Engineer
-pilot
- businessman/woman.... etc; etc; 
                
                       Well, i haven't done any thesis, but in my own private hypothesis, the answer to both of the above questions is that : basically, the ordinary or the average human mind thinks that doctors and or  all those white-collar job holders are prestigious; they lead you to the top of Mount Everest. You shine like a diamond and you will be equivalent to a 24-karat-gold. What more could you ask for? How about being a primary-school teacher ? or a modern-tech-equipped farmer of a thousand acres of land? No, an average-mind cannot dare to imagine being a mere school teacher or a farmer. That would be officially mortifying. 
        Ugh!!!As if being a doctor,tonnes of  rice grains will automatically be filled up in the sacks of your food store. Lets put it simply this way,
              A  Leader has to eat.
             A doctor has to eat.
             A teacher has to eat. 
             A farmer has to eat.
            A  rickshaw driver has to eat.
            A beggar has to eat.
            A burglar has to eat.
            A murderer has to eat.
                             Whatever,whoever we are, we have to eat. E A T -eat. We have to eat because we need energy,and because without energy we are weak and HUNGRY. Thats a universal truth ( unless you are an extraterrestrial) . And whats that ,that goes h u n g r y- hungry???
                         Obviously , the stomach. Pat,pat,pat. 


       (Although, the brain has a big role to making the stomach one rebellious warrior ,lets not talk about anatomy and physiology stuffs here. I aim solely to talk about the stomach alone.)
                    
                     ... The doctor with miraculous hands and millions of fortune floating in his or her eyes  has that stomach, aka tummy, belly. So does the twenty four hour- plotting-bloody-scheming politician. And so does the head-to-toe-ragged beggar with a zero fortune. Whatever ,whoever they are, they are all some bred-to-be-hungry species out of many that exist on earth.   They might say '' healing people who have broken their  three hundred six bones'' is their destiny; ''Serving the nation jammed with assassins and martyrs '' is their destiny; or '' Lying on the road awaiting for death'' is their destiny......At the end, whatever they do,the reason or destiny behind their commitment is very very very simple : drop a grain in their aching,growling tummy.
           
              A hungry doctor will shut down the clinic ; a hungry minister will deduce his/her twenty four hour dedication-to-the-nation  to a mere two or three hours; a hungry vagrant will stop wandering and change him or herself into a slayer ( identity change) . .......


                  Even the most powerful man on Earth Barrack Obama eats to pacify his belly. Just because he is the president of  the United States of America doesn't mean he is a unique species; No, he won't drop missiles and nuclear bombs in his belly . He is just as ordinary as i am, and needs to eat just like anyone of the starving-to-death skeleton-like child in some African nations. 

                If only this ''stomach'' didn't exist, you and i wouldn't have to do that daily/weekly/monthly grocery shopping ( of food). I don't know in what way you invest for your belly, but as for myself, i don't do that maddening grocery shopping. It is, for me, more complicated than proving that Pythagoras' Theorem ( reminding you of geometrical maths). Hence, i often curse this vicious organ i posses. I simply dine out. Easy. But not that easy for those unfortunate people of Dr Congo or Ethiopia where hungry people wage war against hungry people. Ah! why am i looking that far ? I can see lots of poor people in Hong Kong itself scavenging in the garbage piles. My God! the very sight sickens me near to vomiting.And imagine how much curse they must have sworn against the government. 

                                   


                   Evidently, there would be peace if this ''thing'' didn't exist. Well, yes there would be peace . Let me remind you once again that its my private hypothesis. The root cause of all these turmoils -wars,conflict-is very apparent. High or low profile men or women. Bloody history or just a story. The ''stomach'' is invisibly out there to be the cause. 
              Accuse the slain ( or living who knows)  Osama Bin laden as a terrorist, he was a global enemy. But before him, there was and will always be one eternal enemy to all :
                       The stomach. Conquer it.
             

     

               
                             

My 21st century boyfriend :)

I've a boyfriend whom i love beyond words and let's talk about him.Don't take it as a crap.You will know why i so want to talk about him.The judge will be you : Good or Bad - simple!

....He neither says ''You're beautiful''.

      Nor does he say '' You're damn ugly''.

     Obviously,he wouldn't call me ugly. His love for me is unconditional.Exceptionally unconditional.And though,he's never called me ''beautiful'' ,he always makes me feel that ''my life'' at least is beautiful. He knows i hate-

-being cheated

- mingling in a crowd of people
- go outside looking for things in person [that's absolutely madness]

Because of this prime knowledge about his girlfriend, my boyfriend-he 

-Never cheats  : Unless i literally kick him out of my way, he remains where i want him to be. He keeps staring at me throughout eternity.Even if there's another hot bomb beside me,he will just stare at me.That's him. Practically,the one i've known and i knew ,would be my boyfriend forever.

                 If anything goes wrong with him or between us , i send him a report.Report?? Don't swear- WTF?? Well,when i first fell madly in love with him, he taught me the first basic rule of love (according to him) '' don't fret,but send report''. Since then,it's always been like that. Either one of us is always sending ''reports''to the other. We are not like other couples. We don't fight or make fuss.Its always ''reporting''.

                   

             Because i'm such a loner, he frequently invites people from around the world, to my world.My boyfriend is not an introvert like me.In fact,he's a champion in ''extroversion''. I always insist i don't need the company of other people.But,he does want me to be a little bit more social,so at times,i find myself ranting about my likes and dislikes to aliens from Mars and so on and on. Whatever, i want to be with him and only HIM forever and ever.....neither in distance nor in heart.

         

               The one worth-mentioning quality about my boyfriend is that, he is a ''time saver'' though people say i waste my time by being with him.Jealous,aren't they?..They don't know that to me TIME is my boyfriend.  He can be a punk-kid,grunge rowdy, casual nerd and whatsoever. But he does know how to save time .FOR ME. If i want to go to an xyz place, he will find it out himself first,and then let me go.

       In that deep connection, i'm lost. Because of him, i forget to do the normal chores of life. Everytime, its him and him and him. He frequently shows the signs and symptoms of breaking me down. 

         But i know,life will be difficult without him. I don't know how he feels about our existence without one another,because he literally has no ''feelings''. Despite all the charisma, he has just one flaw: he has no feelings. ''Feelings'' that we humans need to exist as humans. ''Feelings'' that keep us bound to another human.

       But i never complain to that. He says he doesn't want to be like us humans. He might not know what its like to be hurt, but that's what is unique about him,

              My 21st -century- boyfriend. Twenty-first. Mind it.Not the 16th or the 17th's. 

          that's my old 30 pounds desktop computer. 

                 

           

Love is ageless. 

:)

Drug=My oxygen,my God,my everything....

....Know the relationship between me and my God.

 To me, the almighty God is that small packet of drugs,

 To me,the glittering  Gold is that very small packet of drugs i consume almost everyday...........

 To me, ''breathing'' in oxygen means  ''swallowing'' a drug in one gulp with a glass of water...

 

When people see the contents of my bag,they get shocked. '' Why so many drugs?''they almost always ask. '' I need them'' i reply simply to their pre-historic question. My auditory system has been receiving that interrogative message ever since i was old enough to communicate with the world.

Let's say, my life-long companion has been all these steroids,antibiotics,antihistamines...and whatsoever  ''drugs''. I bet i'm contributing indirectly to the economy of the country producing these little monsters...ah!! well, ''God'' actually...My fingers slipped off and wrote ''monsters'' because no one [more than I ]  knows the pain of having to endure a life in which you ''survive'' by devouring a non-living thing that converts you into a living thing.Yes, I'm practically a non-living thing without them. Because without them i can't dare to walk back into the material world;Without them i  will retire to my bed coiled up in a fetus- position,moaning in  pain that has lasted throughout my life.....

 

Thankyou ''drugs''. You are my God.  I will keep buying ,burrowing, and worshiping  you till i decease............................In my next life, i will ''repay'' you back all your benevolence  by being your manufacturer. Peace.

[ dedicated to my many many upcoming ''breakfasting'' journeys which will start with an opening of a drug-container]